


The Last Straw

by 4thofFive



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, Grief/Mourning, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-27
Updated: 2015-10-27
Packaged: 2018-04-28 08:59:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5085853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/4thofFive/pseuds/4thofFive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another tragedy may be the last straw for Danny's frayed emotions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Last Straw

**Author's Note:**

> Another moldy oldie of mine. It's actually not one of my favourites but Hexx_agon was kind enough to request it so here it is.
> 
> Oh, it's also from season 2 but I updated Danny's mom's name.

Steve climbed out of the ocean feeling the slight muscle ache and rush of endorphins that always followed a vigorous swim. He felt incredibly fresh and alert for just after 7 in the morning and started planning the breakfast he would make for himself and Danny. An egg white omelet with vegetables and some fruit on the side he decided. His boyfriend would bitch about the healthy meal and threaten to go buy a bag of malasadas later, but Steve knew Danny appreciated his attempts to keep him on the nutritional straight and narrow – if only because it meant fewer worried comments from Grace.

Steve grabbed the towel he had left tossed over one of the deck chairs and vigorously rubbed his hair before taking a quick swipe at his chest, arms and legs. With a smile he walked back up to the house. He estimated he had about 15 minutes before Danny returned from his run; just enough time to shower and start breakfast while Danny got cleaned up.

The SEAL opened the sliding glass doors and stepped into the kitchen. He started to head upstairs when he caught sight of his boyfriend standing in the living room looking out the window. Danny looked troubled and it made Steve’s heart sink. The detective had had an awful couple of months starting with his brother laundering a drug dealer’s money and fleeing the country. Danny’s grief and guilt over the actions of his brother were made worse by the hysterical reaction of Danny’s mother who blamed her older son for Matt’s actions and refused to speak to him on the phone. Danny’s father had tried to intercede but his wife was inconsolable and took her pain out on Danny. The fracture in his family was devastating to the detective who was a devoted family man. Danny had started having trouble sleeping and had lost a noticeable amount of weight, despite Steve’s attempts to encourage him to eat.

Then, only two weeks ago, the Five-0 team handled the kidnapping of twin 6-year-old girls. The children had been taken by their mentally disturbed meth-head father and Danny had been the one to find their two tiny bodies half buried in the sand near the run down motel where the father had been holed up.

Two days after that, Stan, Danny’s ex-wife’s new husband, left on a trip to Paris and since Grace was on summer holidays, Rachel thought they should all go as a family. They would be gone for a month.

Danny had plunged into a depression and Steve was strongly considering suggesting therapy or medication, but over the last few days the detective had started to come around. Now he seemed in a dark mood again.

“Hey,” Steve said softly, entering the living room and coming to stand behind Danny. He wrapped his arms around Danny’s torso and bent down to put his chin on his lover’s shoulder.

“I thought you were going for a run?”

“Yeah I was, but Grace called and I wanted to talk to her.”

Steve nodded.

“Is she having a good time?”

A weak smile flitted across Danny’s face.

“Amazing, she says. They’re in Italy and last night they went on a gondola ride in Venice.”

“Sounds like fun.”

“Yeah,” Danny responded, glancing down at the phone he was clutching. “She’s having lots of new adventures.”

“Adventures she should be having with you,” Steve supplied, finally understanding what was going through his partner’s mind.

Danny shrugged.

“Stan’s a rich man. He can take her on these trips. I shouldn’t be jealous or hurt I know. I want my baby to travel the world and experience other cultures. I just wish I could give that to her too.”

Steve straightened up and put his hands on Danny’s shoulders then turned the smaller man around to face him.

“Listen, how about you and I plan a nice trip for Grace next year during spring break? We can go anywhere you want. Maybe Japan? I was there a few years ago. Grace would love it.”

Danny smiled gratefully but shook his head.

“Steve, you know I can’t afford that. I’m still paying off what was left on the mortgage on my old house in Jersey, and I have that hospital bill to pay off—“

“Danny!” Steve interrupted catching the other man’s eyes. “I said you and I – together. I have some money put away and we can start saving for the rest now…”

Danny put his hand up to Steve’s face and rubbed the taller man’s bottom lip with his thumb.

“Steve, babe, thank you for the offer, but I can’t take any more from you. I’m already living in your house rent free.”

Steve took a step back and put his fisted hands on his hips.

“Jesus Christ Danny, we’re not roommates, we’re a couple. We’re supposed to be building a life together. What’s mine is yours and vice versa. When are you going to stop dividing everything in half and realize it’s all ours?”

Danny furrowed his brow at the anger that clouded his boyfriend’s face. He took a step forward and put a hand on Steve’s neck to pull his head down and kiss the other man soundly on the lips.

“I’m sorry babe, I just feel like…we live in your house, use your furniture and usually spend your money on the special things we do together, or the treats we give to Grace. I feel like I’m not bringing my share to the relationship.”

Steve stared at his boyfriend for a few seconds actually speechless that his normally intelligent partner could be so dumb. He grabbed Danny’s arms at the biceps and pulled the Jersey native up against him so their faces were only inches apart.

“Your share?” Steve asked incredulously. “Let me tell you something Detective Williams. You bring a hell of a lot to this relationship. You bring me love and caring and passion, but most of all you’ve brought me a family. The family I never thought I’d have. You’ve given me everything I’ve ever dreamed of Danny, and that’s a hell of a lot more than four walls and some old furniture.”

Danny had to swallow several times to clear the lump in his throat. Steve looked at him with such blazing intensity that Danny started to feel overheated.

“Yeah?” was all he could muster.

The SEAL smiled and nodded.

“Yeah.”

Danny reached up and kissed his boyfriend again.

“Maybe you should cash in on some of that passion then, huh? Wouldn’t want you to think I wasn’t sharing.”

Steve growled and slowly raked his eyes up and down his partner’s beautiful body. Danny shivered in anticipation as his animal boyfriend grabbed his hand and dragged him up the stairs.

 

**********

 

Steve and Danny at least had the decency to look sheepish as they came jogging into the Five-0 offices 45 minutes late. They began some bumbling excuses to Chin and Kono, but the Hawaiian cousins looked at their flushed faces and bright eyes and waved off the lame attempts at explanations. When the two cousins turned back to their work at the computer table, Steve gave Danny a wolfish grin and kissed him at his office door. Danny felt a little like a husband being seen off to work by his devoted wife.

The morning was quiet. No new cases were on the horizon so the team took the opportunity to catch up on their paperwork and organize some of their files. At about 9:15, Kono saw Danny talking on the phone. He looked pale and drawn but not really anything different from the way he’d looked over the past month. Soon after the call ended, Danny got up and walked out of the office without a word. Since he didn’t have his sidearm or phone, Kono assumed he was going to the bathroom and thought no more about it. At 10:00 when Steve called everyone together for a meeting, Danny was nowhere to be found. Kono and Steve searched the washrooms and the rest of the building while Chin searched outside, but there was no sign of their friend.

“Did he say anything to you before he left?” Steve questioned Kono.

“No. I thought he was going to the bathroom. No reason for me to question him about that.”

Steve chewed his bottom lip nervously.

“This is weird. It’s not like Danny to just walk away without telling anyone – especially without his gun or phone.”

Chin came jogging back into the office at that moment.

“His car is still outside. He’s nowhere around that I can see. Want me to put out an APB on him?”

Steve paused to consider the idea.

“No…no let’s not do that yet. I don’t want to hit the panic button. Chin, call up the feed from the cameras outside and see if you can see where he went.”

As Chin went over to the computer table to begin tapping into the camera feed, Kono turned to look at Steve.

“Did anything happen this morning. Was he bothered by anything?”

Steve was rubbing his face and staring at Danny’s office and she had to repeat the question to get his attention.

“What? No…well he was a little down after talking to Grace on the phone, feeling bad that he couldn’t have been the one to take her to Europe, but he snapped out of it and we…well, he was feeling better when we left for work.”

Chin called his teammates over to watch the feed from the outside cameras. He started the playback at just after 9:14 a.m. At 9:18 the camera showed Danny walking somewhat aimlessly down the sidewalk in front of the building towards the parking lot. The detective stood staring at his car for a moment then wandered off heading south. He didn’t reappear in any of the camera feeds.

Steve shook his head in confusion.

“What the hell is he doing? If he wanted to take his car why didn’t he bring the keys?”

Kono worriedly chewed on a nail.

“He looked kind of…dazed or something.”

Steve straightened up and looked over at his two team members.

“Kono, go see Kamekona and ask if he’s seen or spoken to Danny at all today. If you can’t find him there, check out some of his favourite haunts. Chin, can you take a drive over to my – to our – place? Maybe he went home without telling me for some reason. If none of that pans out, check with the cab companies to see if he was picked up.”

“Where are you going to be?” asked Kono picking up her car keys.

“I’m going to drive in the direction he headed and see if I can spot him.”

Steve drove slowly around the area south of the palace hoping to spot his partner. Chin had phoned to say there was no sign of Danny at his and Steve’s home. Kono sent several texts listing off the places she’d visited and reporting no sighting of Danny. Steve was starting to feel a rising panic and was about to turn around and head back to the office to have an APB put out on his partner when Kono phoned.

“Steve? I just got a call from a friend of mine from the academy, Diana Kahena. She says Danny is sitting on Waikiki Beach near the Ilikai Hotel leaning against a tree and staring out at the surf.”

“Is he ok?”

“She says he appears to be OK physically but he hasn’t been very responsive to her questions.”

“OK Kono, call the officer back and ask her to stay with Danny until I get there. Also, ask her not to report it to anyone.”

“Will do Steve.”

Steve used lights and siren to get to the beach. He jogged over the sand where he saw the uniformed officer standing close to Danny who was slumped on the ground leaning against a palm tree. His tie was pulled loose and his hands were lying limply on his thighs. When she spotted him, the young officer walked over to intercept the commander of Five-0.

“Officer Kahena?”

“Yes sir.”

“How did you find him?”

“I was responding to a call from a tourist who reported their wallet stolen from their beach bag. I saw Detective Williams and came over to say hello. He’s always been so nice and helpful to the less experienced officers like me. When I spoke to him it took me a while to get a response. It’s almost like he doesn’t know where he is. I thought maybe he was drunk but I don’t smell any alcohol and…well, I’m sure he doesn’t take drugs but I had to check. His pupils look fine. I don’t know what’s wrong with him Commander, but I thought I should phone Kono rather than my supervisor.”

Steve gave her a small, grateful smile.

“Thank you Officer, I appreciate your discretion. I think maybe Detective Williams is sick but I’ll find out for sure.”

Officer Kahena nodded, grateful someone who outranked her was taking over. Steve dismissed her and walked over to Danny crouching down in the sand in front of his boyfriend.

“Hey babe,” he spoke softly.

Danny didn’t respond until Steve reached out and gently put his hand on his lover’s shoulder and shook him lightly. The smaller detective looked up in surprise.

“Oh, hi Steve.”

“Hi babe, you ok?”

Danny nodded then turned his gaze back to the ocean.

“What are you doing here Danny?”

The blond detective looked up at him in confusion, then looked around as if suddenly becoming aware of his surroundings.

“Umm, I…wanted some fresh air?”

Steve’s eyebrows furrowed in concern. “Danny you’re two miles from the office. Did you walk the whole way?”

Danny looked up again. His reaction times were slow, as if he had to repeat to himself everything being said until he understood it.

“Yeah, I guess. I wanted some air.”

Something was very wrong and Steve could feel a knot of worry forming in his gut.

“OK honey, I’m going to take you home. You can get some air there and you can watch the waves. How does that sound?”

Danny looked back at him with dull eyes. He shrugged.

“Sure. I guess.”

Steve climbed to his feet and reached down to pull his boyfriend up with him. With an arm around the smaller man’s shoulders, Steve steered Danny across the sand and into the street where his truck was parked. He put his partner into the passenger seat and watched him do up his seat belt. After closing the door, he pulled out his phone.

“Chin? I’ve got him. I’m taking him home for a while.”

“Is he ok?”

Steve glanced through the passenger side window at Danny who was staring out the windshield dully.

“I’m not sure to tell you the truth. I have a neighbour who is a retired psychiatrist. I’m going to have her come over and take a look.”

“Maybe you should take him to the hospital.”

“No, not just yet. If she thinks he needs it I will, but right now I don’t want to do anything too hasty.”

Chin hesitated for a moment ready to argue and Steve could sense the older man’s concern.

“Chin,” Steve stepped away from the truck although Danny was unlikely to hear him. “I think he may have had some sort of breakdown or something. If I take him to the hospital they’ll report it to HPD. I want to avoid that for now if I can.”

“Alright Steve, I trust you to do what’s best for Danny. Call us if you need any help ok?”

Steve began walking around the truck to reach for the driver’s side door. “I will. Thanks Chin.”

**********

As soon as they got home, Steve had Danny lie down on their bed then he ran two doors down the street to the home of Dr. Amanda Turner. The 60-something woman with steel grey hair and bright green eyes had been working in her garden but agreed to come to Steve’s house immediately to speak to his partner.

For a half-hour Steve paced the living room nervously while the doctor was upstairs with Danny. He was about to go up to check on the two when he heard the bedroom door open and close quietly and Dr. Turner came back downstairs.

“Well Amanda?”

The doctor motioned Steve to come out onto the lanai where they could talk privately.

“I can’t be sure without a full psychological workup, but his symptoms present like acute stress reaction. Given what you’ve told me about his brother and some of the other things that have taken place in his life over the last few months he was at risk for it, but I think something more severe must have happened this morning.

Steve blew out a gust of air and rubbed his hands over his face.

“Any idea what it was?”

The doctor shook her head.

“I can’t say for sure as he won’t talk to me beyond answering the most basic questions, but something traumatic seems to have taken place. Something precipitated this crisis and until you find out what it was and get him to talk about it, he may not be able to come out of this on his own.”

Steve licked his bottom lip and turned a worried face to the doctor.

“What do I do? How do I help him?”

“Keep a close eye on him. Try to draw him out and get him to tell you what happened today. Even if you find out yourself, don’t confront him with it, try to get him to tell you himself; he needs to be able to face whatever it is.”

Crossing his arms tightly around his body, Steve released a shaky sigh.

“What if I can’t get him to open up?”

“Then we may have to think about hospitalization, but that will be an absolute last resort.”

She reached out to pat Steve gently on the shoulder.

“He appears to be exhausted which isn’t helping the situation. It sounds from what you’ve told me that he hasn’t had much sleep or eaten much for a while. Try to get him to sleep, even if you have to drug him.”

Steve shrugged slightly.

“I don’t have any sleeping pills around here.”

“Give him some sort of that nighttime cold medication, that usually works. If it doesn’t, call me and I’ll prescribe something temporarily. He may come out of it with a few hours of sleep. If not, you’ll need to start trying to draw him out.”

Steve nodded nervously. He wasn’t a doctor and was terrified he’d say or do something to make Danny’s situation worse. Dr. Turner seemed to understand his feelings and she smiled up at him.

“Steve, you’re his partner, you love each other. You’re the best one to help him through this. If you need anything you can call me but I want you to trust your instincts, ok?”

After showing the doctor out, Steve dug up a bottle of Nyquil and spiked some orange juice with it. He climbed the stairs to their bedroom and found Danny lying where he’d left him staring blankly at the ceiling fan.

“Hey babe, thought you’d like some juice,” Steve said gently coming to sit on the bed beside Danny.

His partner sat up and obediently gulped down the proffered drink then flopped down again and looked at Steve with vacant eyes.

“I should go back to work now.”

Steve smiled and patted Danny’s arm gently.

“Not just yet. Why don’t you have a nap?”

Danny shrugged and returned his attention to the ceiling fan.

“Danny…you know you can talk to me about anything right? You know I’m here for you.”

Steve saw a flicker of emotion cross Danny’s face at the words but it immediately disappeared. The detective made no response but yawned widely.

Steve kept his hand on Danny’s arm and rubbed the skin gently with his thumb.

“Everything’s going to be alright babe,” he whispered, “nothing to worry about. Get some sleep. I’ll be right here if you need me.”

Danny yawned again then closed his eyes. Steve stayed with him until he was sure his partner was out. He gently removed Danny’s tie and his shoes then pulled a light-weight blanket over his boyfriend.

Walking quietly out of the room, Steve went downstairs and out onto the lanai dialing Kono’s phone as he went.

“Five-0, Officer Kalakaua.”

“Kono, its Steve.”

“Hi Steve, how’s Danny?”

“He’s sleeping right now. Look, I need you to do me a favour. Access the records of all the calls Danny received on his office and cell phone this morning. I need to find out if he spoke to someone who might have said or done something to upset him.”

“OK boss. I’ll call you back as soon as I have the information.”

Steve was having a beer on the lanai when Kono returned his call 20 minutes later.

“So he only received a handful of calls in the morning, mostly from members of the HPD, but he did get a call from a Melissa Freeman in East Orange, New Jersey just about the time I saw him leave the office.”

“That’s one of his sisters,” replied Steve sitting bolt upright in his chair.

“Do you want me to call and talk to her?” asked Kono.

“No, I’ll talk to her, thanks Kono.”

After copying down the number, Steve dialed it immediately. It was just after supper time in New Jersey and Steve hoped Danny’s sister wasn’t too busy putting her kids to bed to answer the phone.

“Hello?”

“Mel, its Steve.”

“Steve? Is Danny ok?”

The young woman’s voice sounded hoarse and raspy but Steve thought maybe she just had a cold.

“Yeah Mel, he’s fine, but I’m worried about him, something’s bothering him. He’s very upset today and I can’t get him to tell me what’s wrong. I was hoping you knew.”

“He hasn’t told you?”

Steve felt a feeling of dread rise in his stomach at those words.

“Told me what, Mel?”

The young woman took a shaky breath on the other end of the phone.

“Dad died very early this morning, Steve. He had a heart attack at the fire hall.”

“Oh my God,” sighed Steve sinking back heavily into the chair and putting one hand over his eyes. “No wonder…”

Melissa’s voice was choked with tears.

“I had to be the one to phone Danny this morning. He was so…it was awful. Then I had to tell him…” her voice broke and Steve could hear a sob.

“Tell him what?” he pressed gently.

She took a few ragged breaths.

“I had to tell him Mom doesn’t want him to come to the funeral. She blames him for Matt running and now she blames him for Dad dying.”

Steve stood up and began pacing the lanai in frustration.

“Oh my God, she can’t be serious! None of this was Danny’s fault. He tried to help Matt. He tried to stop him…”

“I know he did Steve,” the younger woman interrupted. “Dad, Ronnie and I know that but mom, she’s lost it a bit. I don’t know how to describe it. It’s like her grief has driven her mad or something. No one can talk sense to her. No one can get through to her. She’s convinced Danny is the villain and we can’t make her see reason.”

Steve stopped pacing and leaned against the railing surrounding the lanai.

“I’m sorry about all of this Mel. I’m so sorry about your father. I know what a great man he was – what a great father and firefighter.”

The young woman’s voice was choked up again as she answered.

“Thank you, Steve.”

“I want you to know that Danny is not alone here. I’ll look after him – so will Chin and Kono. We’ll make sure he has all of the love and support we can give him.”

“I know Steve. Danny was so lonely the first few months he was in Hawaii. Meeting and falling in love with you has added such happiness to his life. I’m so grateful you’re there to look after him and protect him.”

It was Steve’s turn to release a shaky sigh and he had to blink back tears. He swallowed roughly.

“Mel, when you have the details of your father’s funeral will you let me know?”

The young woman hesitated.

“Steve, I don’t know if--”

“Danny is not missing his father’s funeral. I don’t care what your mother said. We’ll sit at the back of the church if we have to, but we’re going to be there.”

After spending a few more minutes trying to comfort Danny’s sister, Steve hung up and sat down heavily on a deck chair rubbing his wet eyes. Goddammit! Danny had already been through so much: the divorce and having to leave his friends and family to move to Hawaii; Meka’s murder, his brother’s crime, then the murder of the children. Why did this have to happen?

Taking a few slow deep breaths, Steve got himself under control and went back into the house and quietly climbed up the stairs to check on his partner. Danny was curled up in a ball sleeping soundly.

Several hours passed before Steve heard movement from upstairs. The toilet flushed and Danny came down looking bleary-eyed but somewhat more alert.

“Hey, how did you sleep?” asked the Commander pressing a cup of coffee into his partner’s hand.

Danny slumped down onto a kitchen chair.

“Good I guess. But I’m worried about the work piling up. We should go back to the office.”

Danny took a sip of his coffee with slightly shaking hands. Steve got the feeling that the truth of what happened this morning was beginning to surface in partner’s conscious brain, despite his attempt to suppress it.

Steve pulled out a chair and sat down opposite his friend.

“It’s ok, there’s nothing going on in the office. Besides, I think we should talk.”

“We don’t have anything to talk about,” murmured Danny staring into his coffee.

“I think we do. You need to tell me about what happened today.”

Danny looked up suddenly with fear in his eyes.

“I don’t know what you mean. Nothing happened today.”

Reaching across the table, Steve clasped Danny’s wrist with his hand and gave it a squeeze.

“Yes it did, Danny. You got a phone call didn’t you? A call from Melissa?”

Danny swallowed convulsively and shook his head, dropping his eyes away from Steve’s face.

“It won’t just go away Danny,” Steve continued gently. “You need to face it.”

Danny stood up suddenly and pulled away from Steve’s grip, his coffee slopping on the table.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

The smaller man turned suddenly and ran out onto the lanai. Steve followed close behind and found his partner bent over the railing clutching it in a white knuckle grip and taking huge gulps of air. Steve put his arm around Danny’s shoulders.

“It’s ok, Danny. You’re not alone. Whatever happened, whatever will happen, you’re not alone. I’m right here with you babe.”

Danny’s voice was coming in gasps now as if he was short of breath.

“No…Steve, please…”

Steve put both hands on Danny’s shoulders and forcibly turned his partner to face him.

“Danny, tell me what happened. Tell me what Melissa said.”

Tears began slowly rolling down Danny’s pale, pain-etched face as his body shook from suppressed emotion.

“God, Steve, I can’t…I can’t take anymore…”

Steve squeezed his boyfriend’s shoulders and dipped his head to look into the smaller man’s eyes.

“Tell me, Danny. You’ve got to say it and face it. Tell me what Melissa told you.”

Feeling his knees weaken Danny sank to the floor of the lanai, tears now streaming down his face, his body racked with sobs.

“She said…she said…Dad died this morning.”

Steve lowered himself to his knees in front of his lover, who was now bent over at the waist, his arms wrapped tightly around his torso and his forehead almost touching the floor. Pulling Danny back up to his knees, Steve wrapped his arms around him and pulled him into a tight hug rocking him gently from side-to-side.

“I know baby, I know. I’m so sorry…I’m so sorry Danny.”

**********

“I should call Mom.”

Danny and Steve were at the kitchen table. Steve had made a late lunch and was trying to get his partner to do more than pick at it.

“I’m worried about what she will say to you.”

She’s still my mother. She’s lost her husband. I should talk to her.”

Steve nodded.

“OK. I’ll be right here if you need me.”

It took several tries to screw up his courage but Danny finally picked up his phone and dialed his mother’s number while Steve hovered nearby.

Call display obviously told Danny’s mother who was on the line.

“What do you want Danny?” his mother’s usually gentle voice sounded harsh and angry.

“I wanted to talk to you Mom, to tell you I love you and I’m so sorry about Dad.”

He heard a huff of indignation on the other end of the phone.

“Oh, you’re sorry are you? You should be. It’s your fault. If you had stopped Matt from getting on that plane your father wouldn’t have been so upset and he wouldn’t have dropped dead of a heart attack.”

Danny felt like he’d been punched in the gut.

“Mom, you’re being unfair. Matt is 32 years old. He’s a grown man. He makes his own decisions. I tried to help him but he rejected it. There was nothing I could have done.”

He heard a near hysterical laugh at the other end of the line and it made his skin crawl.

“That’s a lie. I told you when you were a little boy that it was your job to look after your brother and sisters. You failed Matt. You failed your father and me.”

Danny felt his heart still at that comment and his eyes filled with tears. He looked over at Steve desperately and his boyfriend quickly came and sat beside him on the couch putting an arm around his shoulders again.

“Mom, please,” replied Danny in a broken voice. “Please don’t do this. I did my best to help Matt. I’ve always done my best to look after my brother and sister’s. You know how much I love them…Mom…I miss Dad too…I need you…”

Danny broke down crying and was unable to carry on. Steve took the phone from his partner and put it up to his own ear while pulling Danny’s head to his chest with his other hand.

“Clara, its Steve.”

“What do you want Steve? This is none of your business.”

“It is my business Clara, Danny’s my partner. I know how grief-stricken you must be but I won’t let you torture him.”

Steve heard a snort of derision from Danny’s mother.

“Just stay out of this Steve! You don’t have any children. You can’t understand the devastation when they disappoint you; when they break your heart! You’ll never understand. You and Danny are gay, you’ll never have children together--”

Steve shook his head at the ranting of the obviously unbalanced woman.

“I’m sorry for your loss Clara,” Steve interrupted loudly. “I’m hanging up now.”

Pushing the end call button angrily, Steve put down the phone and wrapped both arms around his boyfriend until the sobbing ended.

**********

The following night the couple boarded the plane for New Jersey with Chin and Kono seeing them both off at the airport. 

Later, after hours in the air, the thrumming engines of the jet had lulled Steve to nap for a couple of hours. When he woke it was night and the cabin lights had been dimmed. He twisted in his seat to see Danny awake and staring sightlessly out into the night as their plane hurtled across the American mid-west. Despite the darkened cabin, Steve could see Danny’s reflection in the window and watched as a few slow tears rolled down Danny’s cheeks.

Steve reached out and put a warm hand on Danny’s thigh.

“What are you thinking about?” he whispered, careful not to wake the slumbering passengers around them.

Danny wiped his face quickly then slid slightly down in his seat and turned to face Steve.

“I was thinking about Grade 5 career day. My father came in his uniform wearing his helmet and boots and turnout coat. He talked to us kids about being a fireman and fire safety.”

Danny gave a small smile at the memory and brushed a tear away with one hand.

“All the kids were enthralled and I was so proud. I think my chest expanded two sizes that day. He was always a hero to me but after that day, I think he took on mythical status.”

Steve smiled at the happy memory.

“You didn’t want to be a fireman like him?”

Danny wrapped his arms around himself and shivered slightly in the air conditioned cabin.

“I did for a while, but my secret dream was to be a cop. Then when I hit 16 and realized I was never going to get any taller, I figured the cop thing was a better option for me.”

“I’m glad you made the choice you did.”

Danny smiled at his partner and closed his eyes.

“Me too.”

As Danny drifted off to sleep, Steve stood up and dug his jacket out of the overhead compartment and wrapped it around his lover’s shoulders.

**********

Steve let Danny go alone into the funeral home’s small chapel where his father was laid out in his coffin. Knowing his partner needed to be alone with his dad for a while, Steve stayed just outside the chapel but kept watch through the glass doors in case Danny needed him.

As Steve watched with rising emotion, Danny stood staring at his father’s lifeless body for some time before leaning over to kiss his father. Steve could see Danny’s shoulders shaking as he reached above his head to lower the lid of his father’s coffin. He spent some time with his arms around the shiny oak box before straightening again and wiping his face with one of the tissues he had stuffed in his pocket.

Steve quietly stepped into the chapel and stood by the door silently until Danny turned away from the casket and began walking slowly down the aisle towards his boyfriend. When he looked up, Steve held out his arms and Danny walked into them, burying his face in his partner’s chest. There were no more tears, Danny was wrung out, but he felt an unspeakable comfort from the strong arms wrapped around him.

**********

Danny and Steve returned to the hotel to find Danny’s sisters waiting for them in the lobby. The three siblings came together in a shared hug, and this time it was Danny providing the support to his two younger sisters. Steve stood off to the side watching the three remaining Williams children hug and speak softly to each other. He felt a bit like an intruder.

As if remembering his partner was nearby, Danny looked around to find Steve and gestured for him to come and finally meet his family. Steve came up and was immediately embraced by the two Williams girls, both short, blond and with their brother’s piercing, beautiful blue eyes.

“Oh my God, you’re gorgeous,” gushed Veronica Williams. “I’m supposed to be getting married in a couple of months but if you decide you’ve had enough of Danny, I’ll drop Todd like a hot potato.”

Steve blushed and Danny rolled his eyes.

“Jesus Christ Ronnie, he’s mine ok? I’m keeping him. Keep your Witchy-Poo claws off him!”

The two women gave bright, Danny-like smiles to Steve.

“It’s so wonderful to finally get to see you in person,” said Melissa holding the SEAL’s hand in both of hers. “We’ve heard a lot of stories about you – although knowing Danny, probably only a quarter of them are true.”

Danny huffed in indignation.

“Are you kidding? I’ve only told you the terrifying things this guy has done. The blood curdling things? I don’t want to give you nightmares.”

Veronica rolled her eyes and turned her attention to Steve.

“Oh please. You should hear about the things Danny did to us growing up. Talk about blood curdling.”

Steve grinned and wrapped an arm around Danny’s shoulder.

“Danny, I’m shocked! You made it sound like you were the perfect big brother!”

Danny shook his finger at his two younger siblings.

“I was! It was the two of them who were the trouble makers. You get these two and Matty in a room…” Danny’s voice faded out and the three stared silently at each other as the reminder of their shared loss sank over them again like a fog.

Steve cleared his throat and gave Danny’s shoulders a quick squeeze before he spoke.

“Why don’t we take this visit up to our room? I’ll order a bottle of wine and you can talk.”

The three Williams children looked at him and smiled, grateful that he’d rescued the situation for the moment.

Steve had intended to leave Danny alone with his sisters but they all had asked him to stay and soon the hotel room was filled with laughter at shared memories.

**********

The funeral the next day was painful and touching. Danny was proud to see all of the firefighters and police officers who lined the route that the hearse carrying his father would be travelling, but it was torture for him not to be able to sit with his family in the front of the church. His mother had caught sight of him outside before the funeral and began shrieking at him loudly forcing Danny and Steve to slip away into the crowds and leaving Danny’s two sisters to calm their hysterical mother.

The two partners sat at the back of the church throughout the funeral and Steve kept a steady hand or a comforting arm on Danny the whole time. Danny couldn’t help but notice a few of his old friends watching this display of affection with something approaching disgust and after the funeral was over, a number of his former cop friends studiously avoided him.

Danny shook his head sadly but refused to be swayed by other people’s opinions. The truth was he was proud of Steve, and proud as hell to be the boyfriend of such a remarkable man.

The couple attended the gathering after the funeral all the while making every effort to avoid Danny’s mother. Danny introduce Steve to his friends and those of his father. A few of them barely said hello or blushed uncomfortably, but the two men were used to such reactions and tried not to let it upset them.

After an hour Danny went to sit on one of the chairs placed around the perimeter of the room. He felt physically and emotionally drained and needed a few minutes to himself. A shadow fell over him and Danny looked up to see his old partner Gary looking down on him. The detective smiled and stood up to hug his long-time friend but was shocked when the other man took a step back and crossed his arms defensively on his chest.

“Hi Gary,” Danny said warily. “Thanks for coming.”

“Yeah,” replied the other man, a barrel-chested redhead a few years older than Danny. He glared at his ex-partner for a moment.

“Fuck Danny, is it true? You came here with a guy? Some dude you’re sleeping with?”

Danny met his friend’s eyes boldly.

“Yes, his name is Steve. He’s my partner on the Governor’s task force and yes, we’re in love. We live together.”

The other cop shook his head, his face twisted in disgust.

“Jesus, I never knew you were a fag. To think of all those hours we sat in a patrol car together; all those times you were probably coming on to me.”

Danny rolled his eyes and snorted in disgust.

“Oh for fuck’s sake Gary, don’t flatter yourself. I wasn’t checking you out. I wasn’t the slightest bit interested in you; not to mention I was married at the time.”

Gary swallowed as if trying to rid himself of some unpleasant taste in his mouth.

“I just can’t believe it, Danny Williams, a homo. You were one of the toughest guys I ever knew.”

“Gary…” Danny began.

The other man shivered dramatically.

“Fuck, when I think of the times you touched me or put a hand on my shoulder. It makes me want to gag.”

Danny sighed in exasperation and sat down on the chair again.

“You know what Gary? Fuck off. I’m at my father’s funeral for Christ’s sake. I don’t need your homophobic paranoia right now.”

Danny looked away but tightened his hands into fists when the other man grabbed his shirt and began to pull him to his feet.

Gary froze when a hard, warm hand wrapped around the back of his neck and squeezed. Steve leaned up close to the ear of the red-headed man and whispered menacingly.

“Get your goddamned hands off my partner, right now.”

The Jersey detective uncoiled his fingers and released Danny’s shirt. Steve grabbed the hand that had been holding Danny and twisted it viciously around the redheaded man’s back causing Gary to grunt in pain. The SEAL continued to keep his voice at a deadly whisper, his hot breath tickling Gary’s ear.

“We’re at a funeral so I’m not going to beat the shit out of you as you so richly deserve. But if I see you anywhere near my partner, if you so much as look in his direction, I will fuck you up big time. You understand what I’m saying?”

Gary swallowed and nodded and with one final vicious twist of his arm, Steve shoved him away.

The SEAL watched the other man walk quickly away rubbing his arm and glancing furtively over his shoulder at Steve. When Steve looked back at Danny his partner was staring up at him with a mixture of amusement and exasperation.

“What?” Steve asked as if nothing had taken place.

“My hero,” replied Danny with sarcasm. “Not a girl McGarrett. I can look after myself you know.”

Steve shrugged and looked completely unrepentant.

“I know that but you’re suffering enough today. You don’t need to deal with an asshole like that. It’s my job to take care of you. No one hurts you and gets away with it.”

Danny felt tears prickle his eyes and he smiled up at Steve gratefully. He stood and wrapped a hand around Steve’s tie and pulled the taller man down so that he could kiss him. Fuck everyone if they couldn’t stand the sight.

**********

Danny showered and climbed into bed beside his boyfriend still feeling too wired to sleep. He lay on the bed staring at the ceiling of the darkened room. All the emotions of the day were pressing down on him and he felt like he couldn’t draw in enough air.

Steve, who was always tuned to Danny, rolled over and brought himself up onto one elbow and looked down at his boyfriend.

“What do you need, Danno?” He whispered. “What can I do?”

The smaller man looked up at him with moist, pleading eyes.

“Help me get out of my head, Steve. Take all the pain away for just a little while. Please, fuck me until I can’t remember anything but your name.”

Steve gave small smile and rolled on top of his partner who opened his legs to let Steve slot between them. Steve put his large hands on both sides of Danny’s face and touched their noses together gazing in his boyfriend’s eyes with a love so blinding it made Danny’s heart clench.

“I’ve got you, Danny,” Steve replied softly. “I’ll take care of you.”

**********

Steve and Danny walked hand-in-hand into the restaurant the next morning looking around to catch sight of Danny’s two sisters. They garnered the usual disapproving stares but also a few smiles from the other patrons – smiles they happily returned. As they came up to the table where Danny’s sisters were already seated, the two women stood to be hugged by both men.

The greetings finished, the partners took their seats and each grabbed a menu.

“I’m starved,” said Danny quickly skimming the list of breakfast offerings.

Ronnie smirked and raised an eyebrow.

“Oh? Any particular reason? Did you do something particularly strenuous last night?”

Melissa snorted and lifted her menu to cover the bottom half of her face. Steve blushed and refused to lift his eyes from the menu.

“Veronica…” Danny warned in his ‘I’m-your-big-brother-so-you’d-better-behave’ voice.

The younger woman looked at him innocently and batted her eyes.

“What?”

Danny rolled his eyes and looked over at Steve.

“Sorry babe, these two hens are incapable of keeping their thoughts to themselves.”

Steve gave Danny a dry look.

“Yeah, I’m kind of used to that Danny.”

The smaller man wrinkled his nose at his partner and looked back at the menu.

“How’s Mom?” Danny asked nobody specifically, keeping his eyes glued to the menu.

The two women glanced at each other and then back to their brother.

“She’s in rough shape Danny, but someone is with her all the time,” replied Melissa. “Farther Stone came over to see her last night and he has asked her to come and see him every day for counseling.”

Danny put down his menu and folded his hands tightly on his lap looking up at his sisters again.

“Does he think he can help her?”

Veronica nodded and reached over to cup Danny’s face with her hands.

“He thinks he can. He trained as a psychologist before he became a priest. He said if he thinks Mom needs more intensive therapy, he’ll recommend a psychiatrist.”

Danny dropped his eyes and drew in a shaky breath.

“I miss her,” he whispered feeling his eyes pooling with tears.

Steve reached under the table and took one of Danny’s hands in his while Melissa leaned in to catch her brother’s eyes.

“She’ll come back to you Danny, I promise. She’s just had too much to deal with and she’s not thinking straight. Something insider her snapped under the tension and she’s lost herself a bit, but she’ll get better.”

Danny’s mouth quirked into a sad smile and he looked over at Steve.

“I guess I know what that’s like.”

The SEAL smiled back and squeezed his lover’s hand reassuringly.

“It’s all going to be ok in time,” said Steve looking at each sibling in turn. “You’re a strong, loving family and you’ll get through this together.”

“You mean ‘we’ Steve,” corrected Ronnie with a bright smile. “We will get through this. You’re a part of the family too.”

Steve grinned at her gratefully which caused Danny to smile too and with one last squeeze of Steve’s hand, the detective picked up his menu and began a brief lecture about the superiority of restaurants in New Jersey to those in Hawaii.

**********

Kono stuck her head into the house through the open doors to the lanai.

“Danny? Steve says to bring out the salad now.”

The detective, who was busy putting the finishing touches on the requested dish, waved a hand dismissively.

“Yeah, yeah. Tell Julie Child it’s on its way.”

The young woman grinned and stepped back out onto the lanai as Danny dug through a kitchen drawer for the salad tongs.

He grabbed them and picked up the salad bowl to carry it outside at the same moment his phone rang. Danny dropped the tongs and picked up the phone without looking at the screen assuming it was Gracie calling from some other fabulous European destination.

“Hello?”

“Danny?” The detective’s heart skipped a beat when he recognized the voice.

“Mom?”

“Yes dear, it’s Mom. I wanted to phone you…I’ve missed you so much. I’ve been so awful to you and I’m sorry. I love you Danny, and I don’t blame you for anything dear. I only pray to God that you’ll forgive me. I love you so much son.”

The detective stood in the kitchen clutching a bowl of salad in one hand and his phone in the other and laughed and cried at the same time.

 

The End.


End file.
